A Sprinkle of Body Thoughts

Hello dear friends!

Since my last post I have had a smattering (smattering?) of little body-related thoughts that do not nearly come together into a cohesive post.  But, heck! Who needs cohesiveness?

The first thing I want to say is that I was honored and comforted by the support I received from all corners of my friendships for my last post about obesity becoming a disease. I received praise for articulating my opinion, constructive thoughts, further research, and honest questions.  So thank you for that.

I had a clarification to make after receiving some great feedback, which is about my opinion of an individual's responsibility to be healthy.  I wanted to paraphrase a Facebook chat I had with a good friend of mine about this issue:

Her: What you wrote was really interesting...but I did actually like what the doctor said on ABC about not focusing on calling it a disease/epidemic but focusing on healthy habits. 

Me: That's funny! I didn't catch that on the video at all. Maybe I was too angry to hear it. I'm going to watch it again right now... 

...I see what you mean. Well that's a relief to listen to a second time with a calmer mindset. But I still have a problem with the focus on everyone's habits being wrong (kids are eating wrong, kids aren't moving enough, people are bad parents) instead of on the industries that lead to all of these food cravings and lethargy and yo-yo dieting (food industry, technology convenience, and beauty industry respectively). 

Her: I agree, but I have a hard time understanding how else this is supposed to be addressed. Do we just have to focus on the whole of the industry rather than the individual?

Me: That's an interesting way of framing it. It reminds me of a thought I was having about my personal interaction with the technology industry. Which is: Am I doing something wrong by checking my phone all the time?

Her: Well you know how I feel about smart phones. 

Me: Well, it's definitely not a good habit, but I've also been advertised to all day long about all of the apps I need to make my life better. So it is not a good thing that I am checking my social apps every few minutes...but I don't feel I am entirely to blame for this compulsion. 

Her: No, you're definitely not to blame. 

Me: So similarly, eating the wrong foods and not moving is not a good thing, but it's not the people who are to blame. Most mass marketed food is manufactured to addict. With saltiness and sweetness, leading to crashes in blood sugar and a never ending cycle of sugar addiction. And the beauty industry insists that we much achieve an unattainable ideal body, leading us to spend money on beauty products instead of healthy food, slowing our metabolisms with starvation diets, and entering a cycle of disappointing weight loss and weight gain. 

Her: True. And not everyone has access to education about this. And the industries are totally preying on that. 

So, I hope that clears up a little about my personal opinion, but I also want to point out the end of the conversation, which was an ENTIRELY NEW THOUGHT that I had NEVER CONSIDERED: the effects of race and class on the issue of food, health, and body image.  I have not given this facet of body image enough thought to write about yet, but Wow.  That is why I write these posts.  Because through starting this dialogue, we are introduced to completely new issues to contemplate. New support, new insight, new perspective on the world and our place in it.  It's deep, huh?

New ideas are awesome!

To say one final thing about that dichotomy (individual vs. whole): I do believe that individuals can have the power to overcome the uphill battle against these industries (am I starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist? I'm not, I promise) and to find their ways to healthy, body loving lifestyles. And, of course, I hope and pray for each person to do so for themselves. But the amount of blame, judgment, and guilt placed on each individual who is struggling in some way with these issues is completely dismissive of the level of challenge we are all facing. I believe that the most I can give everyone is a break.  A break from that guilt, that blame, that heavy burden.  Without compassion and love, finding peace and health is that much harder.  That is why I refuse to judge individuals for their capacity to maintain healthy weight, eat healthy food, or love their bodies.  The only body I can fully understand is my own, so all I can do is find my own body love and send love and compassion to others searching for the same.

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The other thoughts I wanted to share are from outside sources that I love.

On the side of the webpage, you'll see one of my Resources is Beauty Redefined.  They are awesome.  Their blogposts, Facebook posts, and emails have been a gift to me in my body love journey. They speak to me very deeply and I hope some of what they have to say will speak to you, too.

This is a heart-wrenching post about the impact women can have on their children's body image. The difficulty of struggling with your own physicality while imbuing your children with self-respect and love is one I have not yet faced, though I have been on the other side of the interaction.  What strikes me about this post is how honest it is - so much so that it brings out my own, internal confessions as I read.  Perhaps it will bring up some truth for you, too (if you choose to read it): http://www.beautyredefined.net/to-the-mom-who-taught-me-everything-a-body-image-breakthrough/.

I will highlight one part of the post: at one moment the author puts aside resentment of her mother, realizing that they are part of the same cycle of shame and that neither of them are to blame (rhyme unintentional, but appropriately poetic).

Lastly, I was Skyping with a friend tonight and we were complaining about the pressure of being in our early twenties: everything feels so immediate, like every decision we make and every ambition we choose to follow will set the destiny for our entire lives. We fail now, we fail forever; we succeed, and we are set for life.

I brought up a tool that I use to increase my positive body image - recognizing Cognitive Distortions.  Cognitive Distortions, or Distorted Thinking are the patterns that we humans tend to fall into that move our thoughts away from logic and into emotional danger. Apparently, according to wikipedia, "exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that are believed to perpetuate the effects of psychopathological states, especially depression and anxiety."

I believe these are thoughts that we all have.  Examples include (adapted from the Wikipedia article):

All-or-nothing thinking: seeing things in black or white as opposed to shades of gray; usually using terms like "always", "every" or "never" when this is not true. Example: A dieter sees eating a bite of ice cream as a total failure that ruined his or her entire diet. 

Overgeneralization: Making hasty generalizations from insufficient experiences and evidence. Example: A person is lonely and often spends most of her time at home. Her friends sometimes ask her to come out for dinner and meet new people. She feels it is useless to try to meet people. No one really could like her. 

Disqualifying the positive: Positive events are discounted, leaving feelings of inadequacy. Example: Even when a person does a good job, they deny their success and say it wasn't that good or impressive. 

Magnification and minimization: Giving proportionally greater weight to a perceived failure, weakness or threat, or lesser weight to a perceived success, strength or opportunity, (so that the weight falls toward the side of failure instead of success). 

Emotional reasoning: Presuming that negative feelings expose the true nature of things, and experiencing reality as a reflection of emotionally linked thoughts.  Example: "I feel/think that I am boring, therefore I must be." Or, feeling that fear of flying in planes means planes are a very dangerous way to travel. Or, concluding that it's hopeless to clean one's house due to being overwhelmed by the prospect of cleaning. 

Should statements: Patterns of moral reasoning based on what a person morally should or ought to do. Example: After a performance, a pianist feels he or she should not have made so many mistakes. Or, while waiting for an appointment, thinking that the service provider should be on time, and feeling bitter and resentful as a result. 

Labeling and mislabeling: A more severe type of overgeneralization; attaching an irrational label, turning a person into nothing more than their actions. Example: Instead of believing that you made a mistake, you believe that you are a loser. Or, someone who made a bad first impression is a "jerk". 

And, trust me, there are plenty more.  I don't point these out to tell you how paranoid you are; we all fall prey to these cognitive distortions, they are nearly impossible to avoid.  I tell you because the first step to overcoming is awareness.  And every time I revisit the types of cognitive distortions, I find myself catching my own distorted thoughts and, slowly but surely, returning to more reasonable interpretations of the situation before me.

Whether it be eating healthily, starting a career, or making new friends, cognitive distortions are bound to pop up.  And catching them becomes a (surprisingly fun!) exercise that only leads to healthier, happier thinking.

Wow, I sound like a self-help book.  I promise I am not advertising any cure-alls or must-dos; take it or leave it, I will not be insulted!

But, as always, if you find a nugget of inspiration from any of these links - let me know! Let's dialogue.

With love, compassion, and a crick in my neck,

Gabriella

They Say I Have a Disease

The first thing you should know: I am currently listening to the "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together"(Taylor Swift) pandora station because the angry music feels right.

The second thing you should know: I let the water pot boil over and the bean patties burn in the oven.

The third thing you should know: The reason for this upset is that the American Medical Association has declared obesity an official, diagnosable disease.

What comes up for "Angry Face" on google.
Also the only joke I will likely make in this post.

Now, I am more forcefully opinionated on this issue than I usually care to be, but I have decided to let it out on here in the hope that some constructive conversation will come of it. (Though if you entirely disagree with everything I say, maybe give me a couple of days to cool off before letting me know.)  Also, I may resort to dark and twisty colors for the highlights in this post to go with my mood.

I started my exploration of this breaking news on ABCnews, and while I'm sure other stations have things to say, too, I don't need to look any further.  Here is one news video and article for you: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/american-medical-association-classifies-obesity-disease/story?id=19439304.

Obesity has been considered an epidemic for a couple of decades now.  Only since yesterday has it been classified as a disease.  To be honest, I'm incredibly nervous to try and explain why this is a major problem, because I've developed a vocabulary over these issues over the course of four years and I am afraid I won't do the explanations justice.

Nevertheless...here we go. I will try to do this in some sort of logical sequence:

An easy calculator that you can find online -
no consultation needed.

Obesity is determined by BMI - a measurement calculated using just a person's height and weight, with absolutely no consideration to body build, gender, ethnicity, fat versus muscle content, or any other factors for that matter.  See Beauty Redefined's article on BMI to read about how it originated as a way to increase life insurance for overweight people and how (drumroll) "On June 16, 1998, the “average” woman was 5 feet, 4 inches tall and weighed 155 pounds. On June 17, a woman of that same height and weight became “overweight.” The requirement for “average” dropped 10 pounds to 145, and a person of the same height who weighed 175 pounds was considered “obese.”

The word obesity has incredibly negative associations with it even though it is calculated by this ridiculously imprecise formula.  And now obesity will mean "diseased," too.

The main issues that I take with this are: 1. the negative body image implications, and 2. the ignorance around the real issues: our food industry, dieting industry, beauty industry, and all of the modern causes of sedentariness and stress (which is material for an entirely separate blogpost, I think)!

Let's start with issue 2.  Obesity - rather, I'll use the term unhealthy weight gain, since that is what obesity is supposed to mean -  does not exist in a void.  First of all, "obesity" can be a natural part of someone's body composition (and yes, there are many "obese" people who have no health issues); but unhealthy weight gain is the result of so. many. different. things that are part of our USA environment.  And most of it works together, unfortunately.  One example of the cycle is the following: The beauty industry tells us we need to lose weight to be liked, we go on low calorie diets that permanently slow our metabolisms down, we can't maintain the low calories because we are nutritionally deprived, and then when we start eating normally again, our slower metabolism makes our body store fat more easily, making us gain more weight back every time we take the beauty industry's advice to cut out breakfast or drink smoothies for lunch.  Rinse and repeat.

As for issue #1, let me lay out the following calculation: A person (note, either male or female) who is 5'6" needs to weigh between 115 and 155 to be a "healthy weight," while a person my height has to weigh (5'2") between 105 at 135.  That's a mere 30 lb flexibility, and cannot possibly be true for all people.  And yet anyone who is an outlier to these numbers will either be considered unhealthily skinny or unhealthily bulky.  How can we be expected to treat our bodies with love and have the compassion to get and keep them healthy if we are constantly told that they are inadequate in one way or another?

Atlanta's Body Shaming Obesity Campaign

I want to bring this defense of the classifying of obesity:

“The AMA’s decision essentially makes diagnosis and treatment of obesity a physician’s professional obligation. As such, it should encourage primary care physicians to get over their discomfort about raising weight concerns with obese patients. Studies have found that more than half of obese patients have never been told by a medical professional they need to lose weight — a result not only of some doctors’ reluctance to offend but of their unwillingness to open a lengthy consultation for which they might not be reimbursed.” (LA Times)

I propose that no overweight person in this country needs a doctor to tell them to lose weight, when it is all we hear, all of the time, all around us.  And does this statement take into account those "obese" people who haven't been told to lose weight because they are healthy?

Lastly, I want to mention a grave side effect (pun intended) of this new classification of obesity as disease.  Last July (2012), the FDA approved Qsymia, a weight loss drug that was found to help obese people lose 10% of their weight. That is one tenth of themselves.  Through a drug. Serious side effects include birth defects, increased heart rate, suicidal thoughts, loss of vision.  Common side effects include numbness or tingling in the hands, arms, feet, or face (paraesthesia); dizziness; changes in the way foods taste or loss of taste (dysgeusia); trouble sleeping (insomnia); constipation; and dry mouth. It is not known if Qsymia changes your risk of heart problems or stroke or of death due to heart problems or stroke, if Qsymia is safe and effective when taken with other prescription, over-the-counter, or herbal weight loss products and if Qsymia is safe and effective in children under 18 years old.

Through my class this past semester on mental health and illness, I have become all too enlightened on the role of pharmaceutical companies on what we consider illness and disease.  Drug companies need diseases to cure in order to sell their products.  How many physicians are going to be compelled to prescribe Qsymia and the dozens of new products that are bound to come out for their patients without holistically viewing all of the influences on that individual's lifestyle and weight gain?  Will someone try to prescribe it to me because I am technically obese?

I would keep talking, I really would.  But I want to maintain the chances of you actually reading to the bottom of this post.  I hope I explained some of these issues adequately.  As always, feel free to comment with questions or ideas.

With angst, frustration, and a sigh of release,

Gabriella

My New York Bodylife

Hello dear readers,

I was too busy making sense of this ridiculous map
to think about trivial issues like my body.

It has been a whirlwind of a week.  It has been exciting and exhausting and definitely not a walk in the park (though I have done that, too).

My biggest struggle right now is finding time for everything that is vital to me.  That would be work, Louis, friend time, thesis research, body image research/nutrition, and taking care of my body, mind, and soul.  I'm also a big fan of doing absolutely nothing whenever time allows.

All week I've been worried that I haven't been doing enough new exploration of my body and health and that I haven't been prioritizing enough.  But now that I've sat down to write this, I am realizing that that is entirely untrue.


Here is what I've been up to health wise:


I have been walking to and from the subway every day to get to work.
I have been walking to and from lunches and dinners out.
I have been prioritizing protein, fruit, and vegetables and almost subconsciously avoiding over-produced foods.
I have been slowly adjusting my sleep schedule and having caffeinated tea only as necessary.
I have stocked my kitchen with foods that will make me feel good and energized.

Okay my lox doesn't look this good, but it works.
Maybe next I'll do a mindful food-beautifying project!

I am also definitely in a trial period with different proteins and how they make my body feel.  I'm trying out smoked salmon and lox, grape nuts cereal, hummus and veggies, greek yogurt, eggs, tuna, cottage cheese and others.  When I have some more data to report back, perhaps I'll post about the different energies these different foods give me.  I also found a vendor who sells fruit outside of my workplace and I have taken to buying different fruits from him to munch on while I intern my butt off (he sold me the MOST delicious cherries ever the other day).





So I've been doing my due-health-diligence, have I not? Just because I haven't been PREOCCUPIED with my body doesn't mean that I haven't been taking care of it.  In fact, maybe I am headed towards a place where my body image and body health won't have to overtake my life in order for me to overcome it.  If it did overtake my life, that wouldn't be much of a victory, would it?

I don't have much more of an update for today (you'd think that after a week of not writing I'd have a whole megillah for you).  But I will tell you about one experiment I just conducted:

DANCING NAKED!

I have my own apartment now.  I can dance with no clothes on.  So as soon as it got dark out tonight I put on some mood lighting in our living room/kitchen/bike storage area, plugged in Louis' new subwoofer/speaker set, stripped down and started shakin' it to my plethora of Pandora stations (tonight's favorites were Classic Rock Power WorkOut station, Halo by Beyonce station, and Dance Cardio Radio).

Tell me that doesn't look liberating.

I thought it would be nice (and experimental) to move my body with a joy and acceptance of all parts of it without any part being hidden or restricted.  And...it was great! I thought I would feel too exposed or clumsy, but instead I felt incredibly alive and sexy.  My body moves in wondrous ways and it was thrilling to let it do its thing without inhibition of any kind.  I highly recommend it.  And turn up the beats so your internal rhythm finds its way out onto the "dance floor" of your kitchen or bedroom or whatever it may be.


That's all I have for now! Check in later this week for more New York Body-Life updates.


With love, lox, and an appreciation for air conditioning,

Gabriella